Consequently (when wedding planning is in "PARK" mode) I have been enjoying some old favorite movies and picking up the occasional book. I say "occasional" cause I kind of have a love/hate relationship.....if a book doesn't grab me within the first 40-50 pages it doesn't get a second chance and it has been a serious drought these last quite a few months....so I have returned to an old favorite (light mindless fluff really) and it has hooked my interest in the printed world again.
The upside is that I have widened my focus and started researching the "fitness" side of things...walking, diet and fitness as I have started to try and build up some cancer lost stamina and interest. I have started working out again (now that my boobless side is beginning to be less tender and swollen...thanks to lymphatic drainage massage...don't knock it till you try it...and hopefully none of you will feel the need to try. Now don't get all impressed...I am using the phrase "work out" very liberally....what I am actually doing is walking and kitchen dance partying a little again. I find it totally unfair that my mind remembers all the hard/great work I did last year losing those 30+ lbs (pre-cancer) but my body/muscles don't have the slightest clue what I'm talking about or that it ever happened...ARGGG!!!! So much for that "muscle memory" theory krap!!!
Now...I am NOT willing to give it up but boy do I have to start slow all over again...BTW...still don't have that pacing myself figured out...so I will just crank my tunes louder so I can't hear the "are you out of your mind", "WE don't do this", "you are gonna pay in pain when we get home", that my body screaming at me.
It isn't fair (not that having cancer is) having to lose that same 30lbs all over again...
& NOT because I decided to slack off it REALLY SUCKS...just sayin