And So it began

"ONCE UPON A TIME"....there came along this little lump...insignificant really when you compare it to the entire world of lumps. That is, right up to the point that it wasn't...insignificant I mean............... and so began my journey.

A NEWER SHADE OF I more then SURVIVE...I am learning to THRIVE...

OF COURSE... we all know things are bound to get a little crazy with a surprise around most every corner...not to mention an assortment of bumps and bruises along the way...but I am ever thankful for them all...they have all made me who I am. So buckle up, hold on tight and enjoy the ride thru what I lovingly refer to as LIFE

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

A New Shade of Pink...SURVIVOR

I am gonna start this off with a couple items of "business" for you to be aware of...
First...there is a little spot on the right side where you can add your email and become a follower of this blog so you don't miss any future posts.
Second...I have added a spot on the bottom of these new posts that gives you an option to leave a't be shy...go for it.  I can't wait to hear from you!!!

Now let's move on...I just thought I would take a minute and explain why the "New Shade of Pink".  Understand first that my life will forever have a "hint of pink" in it.  No matter how many years I get beyond the actual boob battle...once you have walked down this path you are forever changed and always glow a smidge pink

I have really been at a loss...struggling, stewing & brewing over this blog for the last year wondering if I had anything really to share.  All I know is that I didn't want this to turn into an everyday over share facebook post...(ain't nobody got time for that silliness...just sayin) but I was beginning to feel a real disconnect because it just wasn't relevant to where my life is today. I started this blog as a newly diagnosed breast cancer patient but 4 yrs later my life is no longer revolving around treatment, side effect and complications. YES...I still have ongoing issues that will always be part of my "new normal" but I accept my new limitations...slow my pace and just keep moving forward figuring it out as I go.

DON'T get me wrong...I LOVE this blog and all the blessing it has brought into my life...more than I could ever begin to list.  It has taught me so very much about myself & brought people into my life that inspire, support, motivate and have loved me thru some really dark days....but I am not the same person...I have evolved into something more.

I am now OFFICIALLY A SURVIVOR but I not only SURVIVED but I THRIVE!!!  I am rediscovering my limited (it ain't always pretty...OYE!) creative self and embarking on some creative adventures.  I still love to ponder, reflect & try to understand my purpose/role in this life...what I am supposed to learn...cause after all...that is what this life is all about.  Facing new challenges (even the ones we don't want) that are meant to smooth off my rough edges making me a better version of myself then I was the minute before...always moving forward.  


So let me end by saying again...Welcome to my new shade of PINK!!  Can't wait to share more laughs, tears & "aha" moments with you. 

Glad you are here
 - Etta May -

Saturday, September 24, 2016

With a TON of help from my Blog Guru....who is most definitely my "Fairy Blog Mother" (you are the best!!!) I  figured the best way to start  the new chapter of my journey was with a little pampering... after all...the girl does deserve it. It has been a long and grueling few years to say the least....lessons learned, faith sustained, love received and exhaustion hit...more then a few times.... I am taking a much needed and long overdue BIG STEP.. Iv'e tried to make "The "Boob Battle" posts easier to find by running the label list  down the side so you can find exactly the one you want to re-read 

So...with the face lift complete we are ready to tackle all the new adventures and explore some of the side roads and probably stumble over more than a few roadblocks along the way. It is bound to be a crazy ride and I can't wait to share it with you...but most importantly learn from it as I meander along this journey...


Friday, July 15, 2016

Thursday, August 20, 2015

I can't begin to tell you how deeply I love words. 
 At any given moment they can produce such an array of emotions in me.

Anyone who really knows me...or even just reads this blog on a regular basis has long since figured out that I am a "QUOTE HOARDER"...(not in those crazy over the top TV hoarders kind of way)....but I have a SERIOUSLY HARD TIME passing any quote that sparks some response in me...signs...wood, name it....I am drawn to anything with words on it. My family could tell you about the piles (ok...files, boxes & computer folders) filled with quotes I have collected & stuck up random places over the years - my scripture front pages are filled with ones that have sparked gospel understanding or have moved my spirit.  I don't really have any particular subject or style that I gravitate to....they can range from goofy & funny to deep & thought provoking...but somehow, somewhere & someway on some day they all have had a profound effect on me. 

They have often sparked different emotions & insights as I have read them...depending on what I need...sometimes giving them an entirely new meaning. It isn't that the words have changed but my need to learn & understanding has. Those moments are such tender mercies...when I feel those words move me I & I know the Holy Ghost is speaking to my mind & my heart, bringing insight to my spirit.  I have felt the stirrings in my soul & the burning in my bosom testifying to me the things vital to me & my journey on this earth.

Let me give you a few examples of those random phrases that have crossed the void I call my brain in the last little while...
"Came loaded" 
"Family First or First Family?"  
"Lost Forever"
"Questioning vs Murmuring" 
"Second Guessing"

I'm not gonna tell you anymore about them. Over the next few posts I will share what some of them did for me & their effect on the very root of my life and faith. What I really want is for you to just live with them for a little while and see what emotions or thoughts they invoke in you....have some fun with them & maybe learn something about yourself in the process...make some are some "jumping off" ideas you...

Did they spark anything?
Did I feel the urge to give them more consideration?
What are my first thoughts/impression of them? 
What other meanings do they have to me?
Were they really just words & phrases? 

Lets get personal for a second (forget the effect on others for a minute) and just look in the mirror and consider....
Do YOU ever stop to think how the words you see, hear & use effect YOU?
Do you just using them every second but never really giving them a second thought? 

Saturday, August 8, 2015

I have to say....without the big day-to-day cancer experiences to share....I have spent a lot of time pondering the merits of keeping this blog going.  I wondered what...if anything I would have to say without this turning in to that (let's just be honest for a second) pointless & dreaded over-share evil we call... 
Ain't nobody got time for all that crazy!!!

Then as I pondered long and hard about it I decided (mostly selfish) that even if no one else needed this....I STILL DID.  It has blessed my life with the great gift of looking at my life and taking the time to sit back and ponder...just being more self-aware.  It is very therapeutic/cathartic for me to put my mutterings onto "paper" can be a smidge unnerving if I stop & think about the fact that other people take the time to read it....OYE! 
(Shameless plug time.....please take a second & 
"follow by email"
the little box on the right side under my tree...
just curious if there is life out there...okay I'm done) 
I have not filtered or edited my word & thoughts to be true to myself and the purpose I began this blog in the first place....why start now?? My intent has always been to be open, honest and transparent on these pages....hoping/knowing that my random mutterings may be just what someone needs at some moment in their life. 

 I started 3 years ago with a hope and desire to help someone make it thru this...a place where we both (all) can heal.  I have always felt....known if I honestly follow the impression to write, I am prompted to know what to write. The words flow and the post just pours out and it all falls into place but when I strike out on my own or go off on a tangent, I struggle and can spend hours just trying to clean up the mess of singular scattered thoughts. These are always very frustrating and off putting time for me & the reason for most of the long gaps in the past year.  The minute I begin to think that I know best....the "airwaves" go silent and it becomes a VERY daunting task so I just walk away.  I find that its usually the time I start living in the short term....I begin to feel over involved/stressed/pre-occupied with the stupid little day to day stuff that is brought on by walking around with spiritual blinders on.  I feel rushed but stagnant....focused but scattered....still but frantic....accomplished but fruitless... as my mom used to say "More hurry less haste"....the faster and harder you try...the less you get done. Then softly the blinders come off and I feel the sweet whisperings of the spirit. The thoughts begin to pop into my mind and moments of pondering begin to happen again and I am looking for my note book to jot it down before I forget it and the sweet moment  of inspiration is lost ....those are the times when I begin to feel most at the world has returned to it's proper axis...then I sit back and realize once again that I DON"T KNOW BEST...and I humbly hand the reins of my life back over to the Master....He who ALWAYS knows best

Thursday, August 6, 2015

There are moments in time that you are going along in your own world without giving it a second have all the time in the world.  Then something comes along and reminds us just how precious life is and how truly blessed we are...that life is fragile and a gift that we needs to be lived and loved every second....

To my dear friend "Darling" & her family...
in my heart & prayers
- Etta May -

Sunday, July 12, 2015 you see...I have just passed my 3 yr mark since this crazy journey began....and it has been some ride!!  Sometimes it feels like some crazy dream....I know it may seem hard to believe when you look in the mirror and your a "uniboober" really does!!!!  At least until you go to get out of a chair or throw that crazy dance party in your kitchen or decide to plant flower gardens around your house for the first time ever....(yup...that was me) and you realize there are WAY more aches then there should be in places you didn't know could hurt...OYE....don't even get me started on the stamina.  It has....and continues to be... a HUGE learning curve with new surprises around every corner.  Just when you think you have come a mile you realize it's just a few steps and the "old me" is so far out of's sometimes hard to catch a glimpse of her shadow up ahead. Why is it we always want what we don't have...or had once and let it slip away? "IF ONLY....I could" or "IF ONLY I appreciated it when...then I would.." a dangerous slope to get caught on but I admit I balance on it now and then.   But don't get me wrong....every step is one more forward on the path of "NOW I CAN/WILL..." with its new set of discoveries and challenges like this little gem for ya......

...Just when you forget that this is an ongoing disease that my body will always be trying to ward off....some new side-effect caused by that nasty troll shows its in point....Type 2 diabetes.  Ya....that was straight out of left field. I was completely blindsided in December with that little nugget  and its own set of life changes.  For those who are not is a REAL "readers digest" is caused by pancreas trouble and your body's a nut shell.....largely effected by lousy high sugar/carb diet.  In my case it was damage to that pancreas from the cancer and chemo.....I was hooped out of the gate...sigh.  Now I am sure you all remember my SERIOUS phobia regarding needles or any sharp object poking skin.....ya, well....HUGE LEARNING CURVE....and it wasn't pretty...but I got thru it and I'm okay with it all now...shocking right?!?!?!  They like to have your A1C number (average of blood glucose over a 3 month period) at 6.4....mine was 10.8...oops!  My finger prick (again like it to be between 4-10) was a staggering 20.8. I was wonder I was feeling so lousy.  So I got down to business and started watching carbs (my life line while going thru treatment & the year of nausea that followed) and within 3 weeks my prick numbers were 4-6 and at my 3 month check my A1C was 7.2.  I just had it done in June and I am that is non-diabetes glucose levels.  Yup...I am REALLY proud of myself.  Now as I have discovered....there is always a hitch when the Troll is involved.  Unlike most people when they change their way of eating that you need to make copious amounts of weigh are lost.....NOT SO MUCH...ARGG!!!  Always that .2% that doesn't do things like every other normal person.  BUT everyone says I look way better that my color is better and I feel better too so really....that when it comes down to the only thing that really matters

I got the call from my family doctor June 29, 2012 @ 2:30pm  giving me THE cancer call and as is the usual way little tender mercies happen in your life....I got the call from my oncologist June 29, 2015 @ 2:30pm to tell me all the bone scans, CTs and MRI's I had just done (because she found a tender spot she wanted to investigate) came back clear.  I was so thankful for now having that day & hour be something powerful....