And So it began

"ONCE UPON A TIME"....there came along this little lump...insignificant really when you compare it to the entire world of lumps. That is, right up to the point that it wasn't...insignificant I mean............... and so began my journey.

A NEWER SHADE OF I more then SURVIVE...I am learning to THRIVE...

OF COURSE... we all know things are bound to get a little crazy with a surprise around most every corner...not to mention an assortment of bumps and bruises along the way...but I am ever thankful for them all...they have all made me who I am. So buckle up, hold on tight and enjoy the ride thru what I lovingly refer to as LIFE

Friday, February 6, 2015

The Good vs the Best
(continuing the Chuck)

Isn't t that what the Gospel is all about? How many examples in the scriptures are there of single moments that have turned someone's life completely around & headed them in a new & better direction? The goal is not to see how far away we can reach from the Iron Rod and still have a finger tip on's to see how firm a grasp we can maintain when everything is crumbling around us and forces are trying to tear us away. How strong is your hold when you are grasping at all the other stuff?  Doesn't matter how GREAT we think we are - no one can focus on holding tight with one hand & juggling all the rest with the other....something is eventually gonna give and come crashing down on us & our grip will let go...even if only for a split second...but that's all it takes.  I've blogged before about the baggage we haul around...a ton. 

 This time...this year is more about what we need to chuck to spiritually get back to where we want to be - defining the "good" from the "best"...there really is "too much of a good thing".  Whenever what you're matter the noble/good intention...takes over life & removes you from doing the's too much.

We really need to keep ourselves spiritually fed daily, listen & heed those promptings when they come...then we are sure to doing better.  I read this quote and it really touched me...

I am very often guilty of doing the good & ignoring the best until I really notice that my grip has weakened & I'm holding by a few fingers totally distracted by all the "good stuff" in my day to day life. Here's an example...

I have been completely enslaved & engrossed in Family History since June of last year. I have had GREAT success in finding and adding family members to our tree....280 or so.  Now that is a WAY GOOD thing to spend my time & energy on BUT what it's done is supplied excuses for me to not do my usual Sunday routine of personal study (the BEST).  This is the time I fill my spiritual reserves & tightened my grip on that rod. What I have discovered is that I was beginning to feel the gap & loss of spirituality in all aspects of my life....a real feeling of disconnect with friends, church & motivation...all tracing back to my choice of putting the "good" ahead of the "best". Even the great joy I found in family history in the beginning had started to change to a feeling of a chore.  It really always amazes me that when we take a few moments in honest reflection everything becomes clear & your path is clearly laid out before me.

I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father that teaches me repeatedly  in such tender and subtle ways...that shows me the truth and constantly redirects me onto the path I need to be on to return to Him.  All that is required of me is to just humble myself and slow down.... take the quiet and peaceful moments to learn, listen & heed that still small voice.

A Time to Chuck...
(NOT in the "woof your cookies" way)

What I am talking about....again is chucking off that which weighs us down & makes this journey we are all on that much harder...those balls & chains we insist on dragging around behind us so we can feel justified in the role of the martyr/unrepentant/not good enough/whoa is me character that we have so skillfully created in the story of our life.  WELL....time to get ourselves fired from the role and start a new story.  We need to get back to the root of the problem and start CHUCKING....
- regrets & do-overs
-lofty hope & dreams (not all of them...just the really ridiculous way out there ones)
-reliving those past moments of greatness
-& the "some day I'm gonna"

Time to get a serious dose of reality about what we really want to accomplish & things we want to do before we leave this earth or circumstances make it impossible to do.  What is truly important and what is just stuff...the good, the bad and the better.

We started off the year with a bang....well more like a headache...Vof R had a stoke....yup...kinda really shocked and scared both of us.  He is fine but has been left with a couple of blurry spots in his vision...that may or may not correct themselves with time...the brain is kinda funny that way...time will tell.  Believe me when I tell you we understand it could have been WAY WAY worse!!! We are both VERY aware of the blessings and what alternatives could have been but what it did...for me at least..showed me how unprepared I am (if I had to) to take over the total running of our home but especially how totally & completely lost I would be without him here!!! I so TOTALLY love & adore this man...more with every breath I take...and I was guilty of taking him and our life together for granted.  He is my world and my home.

I may come across as this "everything is under control" & in charge tough granny...but spending those 5 days with him in the hospital I was more the lost puppy aimlessly wondering around not knowing what to do next.....I would be soooo hooped if it had gone the other way.

It also showed me how much time /energy/thoughts I waist on things I can't change, things that are never really gonna happen & how I live my life right now....I LOVE MY LIFE!!!! 

The real question is....

-Do I live it with intention? 
-Do I sacrifice the great by getting bogged down doing the good? 
-What is really important in the end game and what gets pushed back in favor of noble & good pursuits?
-Do I have myself so tangled up in things that I have convinced myself that there is no point trying to change things or start new at this stage in my life?

To the first 3....maybe.  But the last one..