And So it began

"ONCE UPON A TIME"....there came along this little lump...insignificant really when you compare it to the entire world of lumps. That is, right up to the point that it wasn't...insignificant I mean............... and so began my journey.

A NEWER SHADE OF I more then SURVIVE...I am learning to THRIVE...

OF COURSE... we all know things are bound to get a little crazy with a surprise around most every corner...not to mention an assortment of bumps and bruises along the way...but I am ever thankful for them all...they have all made me who I am. So buckle up, hold on tight and enjoy the ride thru what I lovingly refer to as LIFE

Thursday, August 20, 2015

I can't begin to tell you how deeply I love words. 
 At any given moment they can produce such an array of emotions in me.

Anyone who really knows me...or even just reads this blog on a regular basis has long since figured out that I am a "QUOTE HOARDER"...(not in those crazy over the top TV hoarders kind of way)....but I have a SERIOUSLY HARD TIME passing any quote that sparks some response in me...signs...wood, name it....I am drawn to anything with words on it. My family could tell you about the piles (ok...files, boxes & computer folders) filled with quotes I have collected & stuck up random places over the years - my scripture front pages are filled with ones that have sparked gospel understanding or have moved my spirit.  I don't really have any particular subject or style that I gravitate to....they can range from goofy & funny to deep & thought provoking...but somehow, somewhere & someway on some day they all have had a profound effect on me. 

They have often sparked different emotions & insights as I have read them...depending on what I need...sometimes giving them an entirely new meaning. It isn't that the words have changed but my need to learn & understanding has. Those moments are such tender mercies...when I feel those words move me I & I know the Holy Ghost is speaking to my mind & my heart, bringing insight to my spirit.  I have felt the stirrings in my soul & the burning in my bosom testifying to me the things vital to me & my journey on this earth.

Let me give you a few examples of those random phrases that have crossed the void I call my brain in the last little while...
"Came loaded" 
"Family First or First Family?"  
"Lost Forever"
"Questioning vs Murmuring" 
"Second Guessing"

I'm not gonna tell you anymore about them. Over the next few posts I will share what some of them did for me & their effect on the very root of my life and faith. What I really want is for you to just live with them for a little while and see what emotions or thoughts they invoke in you....have some fun with them & maybe learn something about yourself in the process...make some are some "jumping off" ideas you...

Did they spark anything?
Did I feel the urge to give them more consideration?
What are my first thoughts/impression of them? 
What other meanings do they have to me?
Were they really just words & phrases? 

Lets get personal for a second (forget the effect on others for a minute) and just look in the mirror and consider....
Do YOU ever stop to think how the words you see, hear & use effect YOU?
Do you just using them every second but never really giving them a second thought? 

Saturday, August 8, 2015

I have to say....without the big day-to-day cancer experiences to share....I have spent a lot of time pondering the merits of keeping this blog going.  I wondered what...if anything I would have to say without this turning in to that (let's just be honest for a second) pointless & dreaded over-share evil we call... 
Ain't nobody got time for all that crazy!!!

Then as I pondered long and hard about it I decided (mostly selfish) that even if no one else needed this....I STILL DID.  It has blessed my life with the great gift of looking at my life and taking the time to sit back and ponder...just being more self-aware.  It is very therapeutic/cathartic for me to put my mutterings onto "paper" can be a smidge unnerving if I stop & think about the fact that other people take the time to read it....OYE! 
(Shameless plug time.....please take a second & 
"follow by email"
the little box on the right side under my tree...
just curious if there is life out there...okay I'm done) 
I have not filtered or edited my word & thoughts to be true to myself and the purpose I began this blog in the first place....why start now?? My intent has always been to be open, honest and transparent on these pages....hoping/knowing that my random mutterings may be just what someone needs at some moment in their life. 

 I started 3 years ago with a hope and desire to help someone make it thru this...a place where we both (all) can heal.  I have always felt....known if I honestly follow the impression to write, I am prompted to know what to write. The words flow and the post just pours out and it all falls into place but when I strike out on my own or go off on a tangent, I struggle and can spend hours just trying to clean up the mess of singular scattered thoughts. These are always very frustrating and off putting time for me & the reason for most of the long gaps in the past year.  The minute I begin to think that I know best....the "airwaves" go silent and it becomes a VERY daunting task so I just walk away.  I find that its usually the time I start living in the short term....I begin to feel over involved/stressed/pre-occupied with the stupid little day to day stuff that is brought on by walking around with spiritual blinders on.  I feel rushed but stagnant....focused but scattered....still but frantic....accomplished but fruitless... as my mom used to say "More hurry less haste"....the faster and harder you try...the less you get done. Then softly the blinders come off and I feel the sweet whisperings of the spirit. The thoughts begin to pop into my mind and moments of pondering begin to happen again and I am looking for my note book to jot it down before I forget it and the sweet moment  of inspiration is lost ....those are the times when I begin to feel most at the world has returned to it's proper axis...then I sit back and realize once again that I DON"T KNOW BEST...and I humbly hand the reins of my life back over to the Master....He who ALWAYS knows best

Thursday, August 6, 2015

There are moments in time that you are going along in your own world without giving it a second have all the time in the world.  Then something comes along and reminds us just how precious life is and how truly blessed we are...that life is fragile and a gift that we needs to be lived and loved every second....

To my dear friend "Darling" & her family...
in my heart & prayers
- Etta May -