A Time to Chuck...
(NOT in the "woof your cookies" way)
What I am talking about....again is chucking off that which weighs us down & makes this journey we are all on that much harder...those balls & chains we insist on dragging around behind us so we can feel justified in the role of the martyr/unrepentant/not good enough/whoa is me character that we have so skillfully created in the story of our life. WELL....time to get ourselves fired from the role and start a new story. We need to get back to the root of the problem and start CHUCKING....
- regrets & do-overs
-lofty hope & dreams (not all of them...just the really ridiculous way out there ones)
-reliving those past moments of greatness
-& the "some day I'm gonna"
Time to get a serious dose of reality about what we really want to accomplish & things we want to do before we leave this earth or circumstances make it impossible to do. What is truly important and what is just stuff...the good, the bad and the better.
We started off the year with a bang....well more like a headache...Vof R had a stoke....yup...kinda really shocked and scared both of us. He is fine but has been left with a couple of blurry spots in his vision...that may or may not correct themselves with time...the brain is kinda funny that way...time will tell. Believe me when I tell you we understand it could have been WAY WAY worse!!! We are both VERY aware of the blessings and what alternatives could have been but what it did...for me at least..showed me how unprepared I am (if I had to) to take over the total running of our home but especially how totally & completely lost I would be without him here!!! I so TOTALLY love & adore this man...more with every breath I take...and I was guilty of taking him and our life together for granted. He is my world and my home.
I may come across as this "everything is under control" & in charge tough granny...but spending those 5 days with him in the hospital I was more the lost puppy aimlessly wondering around not knowing what to do next.....I would be soooo hooped if it had gone the other way.
It also showed me how much time /energy/thoughts I waist on things I can't change, things that are never really gonna happen & how I live my life right now....I LOVE MY LIFE!!!!
The real question is....
-Do I live it with intention?
-Do I sacrifice the great by getting bogged down doing the good?
-What is really important in the end game and what gets pushed back in favor of noble & good pursuits?
-Do I have myself so tangled up in things that I have convinced myself that there is no point trying to change things or start new at this stage in my life?
To the first 3....maybe. But the last one..