So...when I started this journey in 2012, I started drafting them in journals so I could work off the rough edges before I posted them....never would I have guessed that 5 yrs later I have just begun my 3rd journal.  I never really thought I had anything to say or that I would be any good at the whole writing thing.  I thought I would jot a couple of things down, maybe, and then it would just die a slow and quiet death....who would want to waste any time reading my babbling....seriously!?!?!?  Not once did I expect to be still dealing with side effects and issues of this little troll...but alas....here we are...19 days away from the 5th anniversary of my diagnosis & still getting surprised by stuff.  I admit I wasn't too faithful in posting much after the chaos of treatment was over....I settled into a quieter, stress managed existence & so there just wasn't much to talk about at all.  I was getting tired of just simply documenting all the little hiccups and "left fields" that kept showing up so I just withdrew and quietly continued to step ever forward.  BUT THAT HAS ALL CHANGED!!!

In January of this year I came across a project that really spoke to me so...I took a big step and got majorly involved with it.  It is called "the *Blinging it Forward* project."  It supplies unique and original bracelets & key chains to women who have taken refuge in a battered women shelter.  The goal is to help them remember they are beautiful, brave and not ever alone.  It just really touched me and so I jumped on board and began to learn how I could help.  What I thought would be a casual little hobby has turned out to be working with them almost daily...and I LOVE IT!!  It has taken over and refocused my life in a really great way, toward this special group of women.  If you are interested to find out all about them or how you can help (they collect used jewelry)....here is their website. blingingitforward.com. that has all the links for the these other places too.They also have a Facebook page (The Blinging it Forward project) and FB group (*Bling*...The Group) & an Etsy shop (BlingingitForwardCo)

Okay...so back to this final (I hope) step of this girl's cancer story...I have been waiting 5 years to FINALLY have this last boob removed....not for any risk factor....but because I wanted it GONE!!  I know some of you would have a really tough time with this and probably not be where I am....we women tend to be deeply attached to the boob=womanhood thinking....I am NOT one of those... My attachment to my boobs ended the day they tried to kill me!!!  I also have been blessed with the most amazing Hubby who, right from the start said to me..."you alive sooo out weighs having boobs!!  I support you in whatever you feel you want to do".  AMAZING right!!!! What's more, is that he has stood by his word and loves me and tells me I'm beautiful daily.  I could have done NONE of this without VoR at my side...he has had my back for over 35 yrs...he is my rock and my anchor through everything in my life.  I LOVE YOU!!!!

I have spent the last 5 years as a loud and proud UNIBOOBER.  With nerve & radiation damage on the original side I have been unable to wear a bra with a dummy boob in it....I did once for Random Wisdom's wedding but that really was the rare time I did.  It was painful and just not me but gravity being what it is...with each passing year my remaining boob lost hope and began to fall further & further south until it really became that ball in the end of a tennis sock. (I know that's an image you will all carry for a day or two.  To quote one hunky man "you're welcome".....yup...I too have watched Moana.). My plan had been to do the reconstruction thing with the end result of tummy tuck & perky boobs but once again what I wanted and reality slammed head first into each other....reality won.  So for a few vitally important reasons that option was taken from me.  1) I am diabetic 2) my blood vessels are not strong enough to support that kind of tissue transfer 3) it's a 14 hr surgery with a LONG recovery time.  They did look at the old site and see if they could even do implants (I DID NOT WANT) and discovered that the tissue damage from the radiation was just too bad...but they could go in and do some removal of scar tissue and clean it up a bit...that was just fine with me since I had been telling them since day one...."just whack the sucker off". At this point I am just soooo beyond tired of it just hanging there making clothes fit weird, trying to disguise it, it effects my swimming and just generally just weighing my psyche down....it is past time to move on.  So on June 1st I finally got my wish and became the UNBOOBER & I feel GREAT about it....

...and so the story continues....