REALITY vs GIVING UP/SETTLING
Here stands another huge boulder on the bridge of understanding that we need to crumble it before it buries us. As these "our Krap happens", we are faced with 2 completely different options....accept your "new Normal" or live the rest of your life glued to your rear view mirror looking back spending your energy on "I used to..." or "I wish I..." or "I'm never gonna do/be or race thru life like before" All of which are seriously dangerous roadblocks we pile on our backs and then wonder why we crash and burn and sink into self-pity depression.
We can't change who we now are so we need to accept and embrace the "new normal" with all it's new and exciting twists and turns....but don't get me wrong....this is very difficult to do some days and even harder for loved ones to begin to understand. As this journey continues I am constantly trying to learn my new life rhythm/pace and marvel at discovering what NOW makes me happy and brings me peace and joy....and ya....most of it is 180 degrees from where I used to be. I have learned that life is short and precious and we are not invincible, and a lot of the "stuff" I used to fill my life with just doesn't really matter anymore. I live my life for me now....I don't get "guilt tripped" into saying YES to everything and everyone, living at a frantic pace 24/7 always looking to the next thing, and too late realizing that I missed precious NOW moments. I have learned the healing power of peace and embrace the quiet stillness of those moments when the Spirit speaks to your heart as I ponder things I have read or heard or just seeking guidance on my new path of getting to know who I truly am and why I was put on this earth. I treasure those times that just belong to me...that I don't need to justify to anyone or feel guilty cause "I should be doing something else". My life is much calmer and peaceful..NOT a depressed boring hermit and NOT spent feeling sorry for myself or harping on the past.
A New Reality is just that....NEW....and with every "new" there is a learning and growing that happens for not just me but for all those loved ones around me....and sometimes it is hardest on them. I have been thrown head first into a rushing river and had to fight to find my footing while my loved ones have been forced to stand by on the banks and watch...shouting their encouragements but unable to assist me. So as a result of my plunge I see things (life and them) from a different vantage point.... looking back at the shore at them, not standing around them. Those were certainly a couple of huge undertows that tried and almost won the battle to keep me pulled under but my Savior was there helping me find my footing. But I will never see that rushing river in the same way as before....it changed me and my world...my outlook on what is important.....and what brings me true joy and peace......I am not complacent....I am content and savor the everyday miracles acknowledging the Hand of God all around me.
Yesterday I was sitting in my chair looking out the window at a beautifully leaf filled tree and was struck by how each one was blown independent of the others. Each leaf was affected by the wind in its own way and moved to its own rhythm in reaction to how it was touched. I got lost in just watching for a few minutes then began to see (tender mercy of the day) the parallels to my own life and understood that how we react to the Master's hand (whisperings of the Spirit) can add our light and beauty to that of others around us. We are a small separate leaf on the tree of life but it is up to us to be in harmony and share our light with others that are in need of what only we can give.
I am so truly blessed to be who I am right now open to these private teaching moments and the insights that I am gaining because I have been forced to slow my pace and taken the opportunitie to heed the council given in Psalms 46:10
"Be Still and know that I am God"
I guess to sum up these 2 posts is that it saddens me to know that not all will understand/accept the differences in these 4 words and that REALITY is not a bad/negative word.....that I have not and will not settle...nor have I given up. I have chosen instead to embrace my "NEW" and all that means and that I will strive to become the best "NEW" I can be with Faith, patience and courage ....because...despite the changes/adaptations my body has been forced to make...
I am still the same spirit always and forever that my Father created