I have not been overly emotional so far (except for a few minutes on the first day) until this past week and it took me by surprise (though it certainly shouldn't have). It wasn't caused by stuff that has or will happen to me but because of the collateral damage that this little ugly troll has inflicted on my life and those around me. I have for the most part adjusted to my new normal and the realities that I now face...but that fact that important, one time only events will move along without me is a little harder for me to come to terms with. Not that I would want their lives to come to a screeching halt because of me...but missing milestones in my family's lives are just harder to accept.
My 3rd granddaughter will be born while I am still going thru chemo (for some funny reason....they don't like you travelling too far in the middle of treatment)....so I will miss those precious moments that come with a new baby. I am thankful for skype and face time but you just can't duplicate that glorious new baby smell and feel....or kiss those beautiful little cheeks. There is just a special bond that happens when that tiny hand grabs hold of your finger. Things like babies just don't wait for anything, anyone or usually when it's convenient. It is truly amazing how little babies bring about the greatest changes in everything we are, all that we know and how we feel about life. These little ones have the grandest capacity to instill love in all our hearts
(this cutie isn't one of ours but what a great photo)
I found out that they have moved my chemo start date ahead so I actually have my first treatment Oct 3rd instead of the Oct. 15th. So there goes any chance for VoR to get away for a few days before this ride starts since it is gonna last well into the Spring. They aren't kidding when they say that this cancer thing can last an entire year.