I have been really great to this point with everything that has and will happen to me because of this diagnosis. Suddenly I am thrown to a point where, because I am only human, Fear and Courage are battling to dominate my very spirit. So why a needle this Wednesday has become my undoing and the one thing my mind is so fixated on....I don't know. What I do know is that it has become a real hurdle for me and has driven me repeatedly to my knees and the scriptures...maybe that is the whole point....I don't know.
Maybe it is actually more doubt in myself, my worth and my role as His daughter...the daughter of a King. Maybe I 'm afraid of the insignificance of my "craziness" over this one little ordeal (which it truly is in the grand scheme of things)? Maybe it's my belief that it isn’t really worth His time and attention when you consider all the injustice of the world...knowing that something bigger WILL happen to someone else somewhere and I am really just need to suck it up. Now...I know in my head and heart that's crazy!!!
HE IS ALWAYS HERE!!!!!
"A sparrow shall not fall on the ground without your Father...hairs of your head are all numbered...Ye are of more value than many sparrows" (Matt 10:29-31)
"Be not afraid...for the Lord thy God is with thee" (Deuteronomy 20:1)
"Be ye therefore very courageous to keep and do all...Cleave unto the Lord your God, as ye have done unto this day" (Joshua 23:6&8)