And So it began

"ONCE UPON A TIME"....there came along this little lump...insignificant really when you compare it to the entire world of lumps. That is, right up to the point that it wasn't...insignificant I mean............... and so began my journey.

A NEWER SHADE OF I more then SURVIVE...I am learning to THRIVE...

OF COURSE... we all know things are bound to get a little crazy with a surprise around most every corner...not to mention an assortment of bumps and bruises along the way...but I am ever thankful for them all...they have all made me who I am. So buckle up, hold on tight and enjoy the ride thru what I lovingly refer to as LIFE

Monday, August 20, 2012

     These are 3 very simple yet powerful words independently but together their value is far beyond anything we can image. I have been wrestling with these words for a few days and this is what I have come up with.
     I have been really great to this point with everything that has and will happen to me because of this diagnosis. Suddenly I am thrown to a point where, because I am only human, Fear and Courage are battling to dominate my very spirit. So why a needle this Wednesday has become my undoing and the one thing my mind is so fixated on....I don't know. What I do know is that it has become a real hurdle for me and has driven me repeatedly to my knees and the scriptures...maybe that is the whole point....I don't know.
     We all know that fear and faith cannot co-exist so I wonder where my faith (over this one thing) has gone or faltered to allow FEAR to have such a grip? The fact that I have this thought at all is devastating to me.  It's not that anything has changed in my journey, my Savior or our's just this crippling terror over a is very strange to me that I  find myself  doubting His capacity to hold me thru this....but at the same time knowing that I DON'T DOUBT!!!!

     Maybe it is actually more doubt in myself, my worth and my role as His daughter...the daughter of a King. Maybe I 'm afraid of the insignificance of my "craziness" over this one little ordeal (which it truly is in the grand scheme of things)?  Maybe it's my belief that it isn’t really worth His time and attention when you consider all the injustice of the world...knowing that something bigger WILL happen to someone else somewhere and I am really just need to suck it up.  Now...I know in my head and heart that's crazy!!!             

"A sparrow shall not fall on the ground without your Father...hairs of your head are all numbered...Ye are of more value than many sparrows" (Matt 10:29-31)

 Of course He will be with me - I KNOW THAT - I just marvel at how quickly Satan can drop a minuscule dot in the water of our life and IF we don't acknowledge, face it and figure it out - it begins a ripple effect that turns quickly into mighty tidal waves that crash into us threatening to capsize our very lives, working hard to knock us off our true heading. We so need to faithfully and consistently anchor ourselves to the Lord. Checking and rechecking that anchor every day repairing any weakness or frays on the rope. It is our lifeline and our only sure way through all the rest of the storms that most surely lay ahead of us.

     As I read this morning two scriptures jumped off the page at is always such a miracle to me when you pray and search...being open to the promptings of the Holy Ghost....that you will be led to the answer you need.

"Be not afraid...for the Lord thy God is with thee" (Deuteronomy 20:1)
"Be ye therefore very courageous to keep and do all...Cleave unto the Lord your God, as ye have done unto this day" (Joshua 23:6&8)