Here I
sit today....less then 24 hours from my first Oncology appointment and kind of
at a real loss. I am armed with a list of questions....sadly, they are only
questions for me that I don't have any answers to...
.....What
do you ask? What isn't automatically covered in this first meeting...test, surgeries, procedures,
treatments? What am I wanting to
get a "heads-up" about (I ALWAYS have to have all my
ducks in a row...just in case)? What
am I gonna kick myself about cause I forgot to ask (as soon as I
step out of the office)? Not all
questions just naturally jump into my head at the most convenient
times...actually it's pretty hit and miss really....sometimes completely out of
the blue... You see my problem?????.....I guess this is what I am trying to
say....
(You are told you are gonna have to get out
of your chair & learn how to walk.... Now understand that you have never
seen someone actually walk....you have heard that lots of people do it....no
one ever really talks about it and what it will involve other then it isn't
gonna be easy and even hurt a bit.... The only advice you get is...."be
sure you have your big list of questions all ready"!! ... I am sure
they mean besides the obvious common sense ones that I would assume get
answered as they give you info.)
So you can see....I am feeling pretty
frustrated!!! Funny thing is that I am frustrated at what I see as a real lack
of preparation and readiness for this appointment...NOT with the cancer itself.
I really have never asked "Why me?"..."What did I do wrong to
deserve this"..."Why am I being punished?" "Why did God let
this/cause this to happen?" I have, from the start beeen really okay with
this and continue to feel that way. That whatever I need to go thru (needles
included ....YUCK!!!) He is always with me and will make it bearable (not to be
confused with easy) and I will come thru the other side so much more then I am
now.
I have decided that someone needs to create a
"Things to ask your doctor" list of all those things we should
ask...if we knew we had a question....(?s=info....or info=?s).....all goes back
to that blasted chicken and the egg theory....argg!!!
I have
(for my own sanity...and lousy memory) put together a "The Boob Book"....The List of appts, contacts, test results, and all the
rest of the papers/info from the doctor. My plan is that it is gonna become my
left arm....(VoR is my right one)....for keeping all this schmutz
organized...ya...we will see how long this plan works...but I am ever the optimist
so here's hoping....just sayin....
