Well....as luck would have it.....

     Here I sit in the Airport on my way home after just 5 days of my 21 day VaCa. I got a hold of the biopsy people and discovered IF I postponed my appointment for Monday...they couldn't get me in until end of August at the earliest and that "it really was strange that there was an opening so quickly for me".....after talking to my oncology nurse, she advised that I get straight home for this appointment so we don't push surgery back (cause we still don't know that date until Monday morning when his office opens) on the chance it is already scheduled early in August. (not gonna lie....the Hag may have made a private appearance for a few minutes...lucky no one was around and I just "hagged" out loud about how annoyed I was...done)

    On the upside....we are taking care of this little Breast Cancer (bc) TROLL before he can really start recruiting more trolls to join this party. The biggest downer....having time to visit all the family I wanted it to since my trip was so fast. They all understand (as I knew they would) but a bummer all the same.

     But the cancer calls - as it will continue to do in its effort to disrupt/destroy/overrun, even steal my life...IT WILL NOT HAPPEN....maybe inconvenience me here and there but that is all the power I am will to give it… I can't even begin to know how impossible this all would be if I felt like I was all alone and thought the "grim reaper" was hanging over my head....even knowing that the majority of women survive and thrive after this....it would weigh so heavy in the back of my mind and I know my resolve and head space would constantly be fighting the feeling of "just biding my time waiting for the worst". My heart goes out to any of my BC sisters who are in that space....you are in my prayers.

     I am so blessed to know that the Lord has a plan for me and that I can go thru anything because I know He is here with me and that He has already felt every second of what I will go thru while he was in the Garden of Gethsemane. It is humbling to know that He felt all of my pains, sickness, and sins that I would face in this life and it often makes me stop and think...How Many Drops of Blood did I make Him shed and am I doing things that pushed that crown of thorns deeper on his head???

...And now...we wait...

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